We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
