My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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