john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
