i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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