are you still at the devil's house?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
