My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
