Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
