Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
