oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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