Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
