GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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