So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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