I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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