Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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