Your dad touched me again.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
