these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
this is an emotional support booty call
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
