Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
