So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
