May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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