We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she peed on how many people?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's the barista slut.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
