I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
