Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
