drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
