he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
