no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
