And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
