that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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