She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
