After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
