I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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