Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
