I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
there is glitter all over my balls
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
