If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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