Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
