How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want her autograph on my taint
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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