i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
