It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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