clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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