State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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