I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish you could order shots online.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still have a little drunk in my system
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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