did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
