Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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