you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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