she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
