he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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