? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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