I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
