i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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