He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
