Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
