I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
